MY Halloween Tradition

The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that gave utterance to a threat. At length I would be avenged; this was a point definitely, settled --but the very definitiveness with which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong. It must be understood that neither by word nor deed had I given Fortunato cause to doubt my good will. I continued, as was my in to smile in his face, and he did not perceive that my to smile now was atthe thought of his immolation.

(Taken from The Cask of Amontillado. The rest is available online here.)

I read Poe every Halloween. He's always been my favorite author and it seems even more fitting to read him on All Hallow's Eve.

Happy Halloween everyone.

Turning Tricks for Treats

As I sat last night writing my letter to the Great Pumpkin, enjoying Charles Schultz's classic, I couldn't help but marvel at the downward spiral of common sense regarding Halloween costumes. The apparent trend is turning your darling, sweet innocent baby girl into Elizabeth Berkley's body double from Showgirls.

I present rather shoddy camera phone images taken at the local Toys-R-Us:

While you may think these rather innocent costumes, consider, what would you think if an adult wore a similar costume? Is it appropriate to dress your little girl in fishnets, high heels, and mini-skirts and send her out?

Granted, they're your kids, you can slut them up if you want. But just don't knock on my door, because I don't give out candy, and you will hear an ear full about how you dressed up your kid before you run away screaming into the night.

Had to get that off my chest. Seeing this type of crap every year chaps my ass.

Throwin' Up Some More Link Lovin'

Daddyplace.com- While the interweb is rife with mommy forums, the same can't be said of cyberspots for dads. Daddyplace is one of the better ones, even if it does need a new look. (hint, hint)

Scotty and Rossco's Hockey Blog- Two of the finest players that UAH has ever produced. Scotty has the honor of being the first UAH player called up to the NHL (last season) and Rossco has already gotten the "A" on his jersey in his short time in at Philly.

Section23.org- The internet home of the loudest and craziest fans that UAH has.

And, finally (for now)...

Andre Meadows is frickin' genius. Go check out his site at BlackNerdComedy.com and try not to pee on yourself. (I did.)

"

Will Dance For Womprats

It would appear that all of the out of work Stormtroopers left over after the Emperor was killed went off and took dance lessons.

It's Monday. Time For New VC Titles

I've been slacking off on reporting these. Chalk it up to being super Dad.

From the Nintendo press release:

WII-KLY UPDATE: THREE NEW CLASSIC GAMES ANNOUNCED FOR WII SHOP CHANNEL


Oct. 29, 2007

This Halloween, you needn't leave your own living room to encounter spooky spirits and creepy creatures from mysterious otherworlds. The Wii Shop Channel is celebrating the year's most frightfully fun holiday by offering a mix of eerie games that'll keep players' spines tingling. Mash with monsters in a classic Castlevania sequel, tangle with supernatural samurai or battle as a powerful magician-you're bound to discover cool tricks and visual treats no matter which titles you choose. Happy Hallo-Wii!

Today Nintendo adds three new classic games to the popular Wii™ video game system's Wii Shop Channel. The games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

Castlevania® II Simon's Quest (NES®, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone - Mild Fantasy Violence, 500 Wii Points): In this one-player adventure, you'll take on the role of Simon Belmont once again and duel to the death with Count Dracula. Grab your legendary whip, Vampire Killer, and roam freely through Transylvania on a quest to find the count's missing body parts-these are the key to breaking an evil curse. This quest won't be easy, though, for you must battle hideous fiends who stalk the land. In addition to the intense action and tight control the Castlevania series is known for, this sequel also introduced several unique game-play elements into the fold. Build experience the longer you play, buy weapons and items from merchants, or talk with villagers to get clues (some of which are false). Watch as day turns to night and then back again. Take a deep breath, steady your nerves, and help Simon end his curse and defeat the count once and for all.

SAMURAI-GHOST™ (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, Rated E10+ for Everyone 10 and Older - Animated Blood and Violence, 600 Wii Points): This action platformer features a samurai ghost from the depths of the underworld. In a past war, Kagekiyo managed to defeat the shogun Yoritomo and his clan. However, their evil spirits were not completely destroyed, and now, in the world known as Dark Side, they seek the time of their rebirth. In order to shatter those ambitions, Kagekiyo must make his way across seven zones and head for "The Heart of the Darkside" where Yoritomo lies in wait. Use spirit weapons to power up your sword, or other items, such as candles to recover health, and defeat the endless hordes of enemies. Each zone is not only protected by a boss but also includes demons as well as real samurai from 12th-century Japan. Get ready for some intense one-on-one combat action.

MAGICIAN LORD (NEOGEO, 1-2 players, Rated T for Teen - Blood and Fantasy Violence, 900 Wii Points): Released in 1990 and regarded as one of the NEOGEO's earliest signature games, this side-scrolling platformer mixes action with the mystical world of fantasy. A magician named Elta, last descendant of the famed Magician Lord, takes on an epic adventure to save the world from the evil Gul-Agieze. Elta must battle through eight stages, collecting the eight tomes of power that are key to defeating Gul-Agieze and his evil plans. By obtaining orbs in one of three colors (elements) that appear during the game, Elta's offensive powers and jumping abilities can be strengthened. The effect varies considerably depending on the combination of elements, though, and Elta can transform into six different forms: Waterman, Dragon Warrior, Shinobi, Samurai, Raijin or Poseidon. Can you help Elta to become the new Magician Lord?

For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com.

B's Under A Dreary Sky

It seems FlightAware likes to send out it's notices a few minutes late. I barely had enough time to grab my camera and the boy and tear ass over to KMDQ to catch them as they came in. The B-24J and B-17G belong to the Collings Foundation and are touring the country as part of their Wings of Freedom Tour. They'll be here through Friday morning and the boy, the wife, and I will venture back over there to tour the aircraft and shoot as many pictures as I can.

What Is Going On In the R-O-K?

Ah, the Republic of Korea, Land of the Morning Stink. Home of kimchi (admittedly an aquired taste but one I enjoy nevertheless), Samsung, and the '88 Olympics. I have fond, and several perverted, memories of the country I called home from September 1997 through September 1998, but that was a lifetime ago, and certainly one where I never imagined staying home and taking care of the (eventual) kids. But it seems that men in Korea are more willing to accept being "Mr. Mom" and the duties that go along with that.

Digital Chosunilbo is reporting that nearly 151,000 fathers are staying home and caring for the home and the kids in that country. Compare that to the estimates that some 150,000ish dads do it in this country and we Norte Americanos are lagging behind. That's 0.3% of the population of Korea versus 0.05% of the US population.

Can you say 해요 놀라워요? (My apologies if I slaughtered that. I've been long removed from Hangul. I probably just insulted someone's mother.)

HH2's First Hockey Game

As the boys in blue fought valiantly against the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame on March 23, 2007, the boy in the belly began his journey to the outside. I first wrote about the long ordeal back when it first happened, but some tales deserve to be rehashed, be it more briefly.

Thanks to our crappy, crappy cable service (thanks Knology you idiots!) the epic battle between the Cinderella Chargers and the Irish wasn't broadcast live as it was on other cable offerings in the greater H-S-V area. So being a obsessed hockey family we ran errands around town and listened to the game on the radio. UAH fought their collective asses off, falling in the second overtime 3-2. It was the third longest regional matchup in Frozen Four history and quite possible the greatest game that UAH had ever played. While it didn't put a notch in the win column, it did put one in our hearts as the boys showed that a "rocket surgery" school in Alabama can and does have one of the best hockey programs around. The emotion of the game was only compounded as it was the final game of Coach Doug Ross, ending his twenty-five years as the Chargers head coach.

With baited breath, HH6, HH7 and I listed to the game, while HH2 pounded against the womb letting everyone know how much he loved the team and the game. All season long, when 2 was pounding away, and my attention was diverted to my wife's belly rather than to the game, I bent down and said this to my as yet unborn son: "Just don't come out until the season is over." That plea was rather hollow since the little gamer to be wasn't even due until the 16th of April. But nevertheless, I kept repeating that matra to the belly. But, as the Chargers left the ice for the last time that season, the boy reacted. As if the jumpmaster had turned the light from red to flashing green, 2 stood up, hooked up, and began shuffling to the door.

The morning of the 24th, 6 began showing all the signs. Having been through it all some seven years and change earlier when 7 was born, I had a reasonably good idea what was going on. 25 hours after arriving at hospital, the world's most impatient hockey fan was born. The rest of his ordeal is well known. (Or, if you choose not to read old pages, catch up here. Part two here.)

So flash forward to last Saturday (not yesterday, but last Saturday) and we take seats (not our usual perch happily above the ice with plenty of legroom) in the Hockey Capital of the South. As the boys took to the ice for their annual pre-season scrimmage, 2 was a twitter with anticipation. There are things that hold a baby's attention. Shiny things. Bright colors. Interesting patterns. Hockey. Throughout the two 25 minute periods of the scrimmage, 2's attention never waivered. The boys on the ice captivated his attention in a way that no other thing could. And when all was said and done, he finally gave up the ghost and fell asleep when the game was over.

My greatest wish at this point is that his first sentence is "take your skate off and stab him with it!" But I'll happily settle for "and Bemidji still sucks!"

UAH saw their opening weekend Friday and yesterday. Won Friday. Lost Saturday. First home game is the 2nd of November. The anticipation is almost too much.

GwB Presents: Flash Focus: Vision Training in Minutes a Day

I'm at a loss with this title. When I first heard of it the concept seemed like it may work, use a video game to improve you vision and hand/eye coordination. The problem is, now that I've had my fat mitts on it for a while now, the concept seems like crap.

Flash Focus: Vision Training in Minutes a Day is the latest in Nintendo's Touch Generations line-up of games. Like Brain Age and Big Brain Academy before it, Flash Focus attempts to better the life of the individual by showcasing that video games are not always about collecting coins and stomping mushrooms. Flash Focus relies on a series of mini-games to attempt to improve the focus ability of the person playing the title. The title claims that through regular use, the individual will see an increase in dynamic visual acuity, momentary vision, eye movement, peripheral vision, and hand eye coordination. Through the afore mentioned mini-games, players are tested on their vision age immediately after inserting the cartridge for the first time. This vision age serves as a baseline reference for the game to custom design tests and training for the player. The ideal vision age is in the 20s, but anything close to the individuals actual age is considered acceptable.

The problem with this game is that it immediately feels like you've done it all before, and you have. Everything in the game feels like an offshoot of Brain Age and while the sports themed games are nice, after you've done it once or twice it gets really old really fast. As part of the Touch Generations lineup, it's totally aimed at the casual gamer, but add to it the tendious and menotinous gameplay and this title is quickly dropped in favor of titles like Brain Age.

Flash Focus: Vision Training in Minutes a Day is rated "E for Everyone" by the ESRB and is available everywhere.

As someone lucky enough to have better than 20/20 vision, this game just feels like it wouldn't do much of anything. I fail to see how the title would work, but it must somehow, or else this wouldn't exist. Would it?

Pieces

How long can any man's heart lay broken before it can never be repaired?

How long can any broken heart beat before it stops?

How long after the heart stops does the darkness take over that man?

There are no answers to these questions it would appear. It seems as if one in the state is destined to suffer the pain and anguish for all their remaining days. While nothing can justifies the ends, anyone walking this path understands what drives many to go to far. All that have walked this path have stared into the abyss and seen those eyes staring back at them.

Roscoe Shows, Alabama Boys Can Scrap

It's hard convincing people that quality hockey can exist in Alabama, but Jared Ross makes the attempt to sway people so much easier. The best center that UAH has ever produced, don't ever say the little man won't come to his teammate's defense.

(My thanks to Geof for pointing this out)

GwB Presents: Donkey Kong Barrel Blast

The lack of posts of late is solely the result of me being too lazy and too tired to do anything about it. Combine that with the awesomeness that is Halo 3 and skate, and it makes for a bevy of excuses more suited for a congressional oversight committee than a post topic. And while I could certainly bore you with all the glorious details of those two magnificent games like Ted Striker did the little old lady in Airplane!, this particular post sees us kicking it once again with our bud DK in his latest adventure for the Wii.

Donkey Kong Barrel Blast is DK and friends latest outing, this time leaving the comfy confines of the DS in favor of adventure on the Wii. The premise of the game is simple, think cart racing with jet powered kongas strapped to the familiar character's waists. DK, Diddy, the Kremlings, and the gang from countless earlier DK outing are here, racing each other around the track for glory and bragging rights.

Graphically this can be considered standard fare for the Wii. With this game you'll find that the graphics aren't pushed beyond the point that is absolutely necessary and at time if feels loose and unpolished. The characters are modeled accurately, however it is difficult to assess this fact since you spend a majority of the game staring at the back of your character's head. The environments have a decent look and feel to them, but little to offer in the way of eye candy.

The problem with this game lies is in the game play itself. It should be obvious to anyone that played Donkey Konga on the Gamecube that this game was meant to be played using the kongas from that game. This is so evident that the sound that emanates from the Wiimote are the exact same sound that the kongas made in that title. The characters wear kongas around their waists. You drum the Wiimote and Nunchuk like you were pounding kongas. This game was made for the kongas... and yet there is not support for them. So, in what many would consider a huge oversight, players are forced to use their Wiimote and Nunchuk as they would their now dust ridden kongas that sit longingly in the corner waiting to be pounded on.

The other issue I have with the game play in this title is that it practically plays itself. Once you've charged up your kongas by shaking you wrists into a case of premature carpal tunnel syndrome, little if any input is needed from the player. Every track in the title has, for lack of better description, a guardrail that prevents the player from straying off track. If the player is unlucky enough to fall victim to another player's power-up or runs afoul of an obstacle, your character immediately starts moving again with the only input needed from the player being to re-engage the boost. One can literally start the boost, set the Wiimote/Nunchuk down, and watch the game play itself. You certainly won't win any races this way, but it can be done.

All this being said, HH7 loves this game. It's certainly of the ilk that your little ones will like it, but we taxpayers will probably do best leaving this one to them. The title isn't horrible by any stretch of the imagination, but it could have been so much better had the developers included support for the kongas from Donkey Konga.

Donkey Kong Barrel Blast is rated "E for Everyone" by the ESRB and is available everywhere. It supports up to 4 players and requires the Nunchuk.

You'sa Fired!

From Penny Arcade:


Just in case you're scratching your head on this one, peep what Kotaku has to offer.

Puck Drop

I've mentioned it before, we are a hockey family. We eat, breathe, and sleep hockey. It is a guarantee that at least one of the televisions that dot our home is permanently turned on to a game whenever they are played throughout the season. When UAH is home, we're decked out head to toe in our hometown boys colors and cheering from our perch next to the crazies in Section 23. We saddle up the pony every chance we can (afford to that is) and head north to scream along with the rest of the hooligans in the loudest arena in all of the NHL. We love our Preds and our Chargers. But sadly all is not well in our happy hockey home.

The Nashville Predators continue to face an uncertain future. The ongoing drama that we the fans have had to endure is well known. The owner of the Nashville Predators, Craig Liepold, has made his intentions to sell the team very well known and even now the future of the team is uncertain. The local group that looked to sweep in and save the team is now unsure as to whether the deal they are attempting is going to go through. And we the fans are suffering for it. This kind of drama is certainly nothing new in sports, teams have always fought to stay put. But what makes this situation so much more difficult to handle is that no matter what we the fans do to show support and love for our team, this one is completely out of our hands.

It's easy to say that the reason that the Preds are in such an uncertain place is attendance. Teams live and die by the number of butts that occupy the seats. But what makes this situation so unique is that in this instance the blame can't solely be placed on the fans, but rather on the executive side of the Predators. Anyone that has lived in this area can attest to the fact that the uppity ups in Nashville do not advertise their team.

Billboards around Nashville, middle Tennessee, and northern Alabama lack the Predators logo. Television stations in those markets only rarely carry reminders of matches, and then only on the one station that carries the game. Games are hard to find on radio stations outside the Nashville market, but at least satellite radio is an option for many. Minor and college hockey in the area is all but shunned by the Predators management on a regular basis.

These things would be easily overlooked in other parts of the hockey nation. These difficulties simply do not exist in Detroit,Pittsburgh, or Calgary where hockey is considered old hat. But here, in a portion of the US that isn't exactly well renowned for weather conducive to the formation of ice, all of these things and more must take place if the greatest sport on earth is to survive. In an area where college football is a religion you must make the public aware that hockey is a viable and exciting alternative.

This apathetic lack of awareness of the sport to the local public is what has been the cause of all the grief that we in the Predator nation now face. Despite thevaliant efforts of SaveThePredators.com and many other grass roots groups, I fear it is too little too late for our beloved team. The coming days and weeks will tell the tale of whether there will be tears of joy or tears of sorrow in our happy hockey home. But, no matter the outcome, I will always have the satisfaction that the first portrait taken of my boy was wearing his Predators onesie.

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love 'ya, tomorrow!
Hockey's only a daaaaaay, aaaaaa waaaaaaayyy!

Take your skate off and stab him with it!

Pac-Man Fever

Like his big sister, he is so my kid.

Nintendo Announces New Wii Remote Jacket Accessory

Considering I've never bothered to replace my wrist straps, I might just go for these. But one problem, what about all the people that have third party charging stations? Five'll getcha ten that you'll have to slip it off in order to use it.

From the Nintendo Press release:

REDMOND, Wash., Oct. 1, 2007 – Nintendo announces the Wii Remote Jacket, a durable, silicone cover for the Wii Remote™ that provides a variety of benefits for the player. Nintendo will include the Wii Remote Jacket with all Wii™ hardware systems and with all Wii Remotes sold separately or packaged with Wii Play™. Hardware featuring the Wii Remote Jacket will begin shipping to retailers on Oct. 2 and is expected to be on retail shelves the week of Oct. 15.

The Wii Remote Jacket provides cushioning for the Wii Remote for people who might accidentally throw or drop their Wii Remotes while playing games. Use of the Wii Remote Jacket is meant to supplement, not replace, the basic game-play instructions: keep a firm grip, don't let go of the controller, use the wrist strap and make sure your play area is free of people or objects. The Wii Remote Jacket also serves as a cover for the Wii Remote. Nintendo recommends players use the new Wii Remote Jacket as a cushiony shield, though the current Wii Remote is a safe product when used properly.

"We're always looking for ways to improve our products and make sure everyone has a safe and fun experience," says George Harrison, Nintendo of America's senior vice president of marketing and corporate communications. "Many electronics manufacturers provide similar protective covers for products like cell phones, PDAs and MP3 players."

Current Wii owners who want to equip their Wii Remotes with the new Wii Remote Jacket free of charge can go to Wii.com or nintendo.com, or call 1-866-431-8367 to place an order. Nintendo will begin taking orders on Oct. 2, and Wii Remote Jackets will begin shipping the week of Oct. 15.

The Wii Remote Jacket is designed to be added and removed easily, in case users want to slip their Wii Remote into an accessory like the upcoming Wii Zapper™.

The worldwide innovator in the creation of interactive entertainment, Nintendo Co., Ltd., of Kyoto, Japan, manufactures and markets hardware and software for its Wii™, Nintendo DS™, Game Boy® Advance and Nintendo GameCube™ systems. Since 1983, Nintendo has sold nearly 2.4 billion video games and more than 420 million hardware units globally, and has created industry icons like Mario™, Donkey Kong®, Metroid®, Zelda™ and Pokémon®. A wholly owned subsidiary, Nintendo of America Inc., based in Redmond, Wash., serves as headquarters for Nintendo's operations in the Western Hemisphere. For more information about Nintendo, visit the company's Web site at www.nintendo.com.

Yet Another "Thoughtful Insight" Into SAHDs

When Newsweek hits shelves on October 8 it will carry inside it's pages an article written by Brian Braiker on his one year adventure into the realm of stay-at-home dadding. The full text of the article is available for your perusal by clicking that there link, but as I myself read the article I found my blood pressure rising a bit.

It's not that it isn't a well written glimpse into one man's experience as a SAHD, it's more to the fact that after a year of doing his fatherly duties he's somehow garnered enough attention to be considered an expert on the subject. These fluff pieces written by career men who take some time off to raise their kids and then return to the workplace where they wax nostalgic about being a SAHD do nothing for the men who do this everyday. If anything, these type of articles only help solidify the misguided ideal that men are supposed to be the breadwinner no matter what.

In my experience you'd be hard pressed to find many articles written about men who've stayed home and taken care of their prodigy full time. Stories about SAHDs are more often than not written about or by men who give it a few months to a couple of years and then return to the workforce.

Admittedly I am far from an expert on the matter with only six months of SAHD work under my belt, but where I differ from so many of those that have written on the subject (or been written about) is that I have no intention on returning to the rat race. I am perfectly happy wiping noses, changing diapers, and play peek-a-boo everyday for the rest of my life. So, as a full time SAHD who is perfectly content to provide for my family by raising our children full time, what I'd like to see is more articles written by and about men who've dedicated their lives to raising their children and not returning to the working world.

Is that really so much to ask?

31

What is the maximum number of days found in a month on the Gregorian calendar?


What is the number of times I've changed my address? (31 changes of address and counting, don't you love being a former military brat?)


What is the number of years I've inhabited this big, blue marble hurtling through the cosmos (as of 0542 this morning)?


Today marks my 31st year of life. With the first year of my thirties behind me, and nine more ahead of me, I look at all that my life is and scratch my head. It has been, and continues to be, one weird and crazy mess. Here's hoping it continues to excite and bore me to tears.

Happy Birthday also to my friend and fellow hockey fiend Mr. Section 23 who enters into the first day of the last year of his twenties today. Enjoy it buddy, because everything on I Hate My 30s is true.

Oh, and happy birthday Mary Poppins.

additional: It appears the Atari 2600 was first released 30 years ago today. Damn that's depressing.