Soapbox

I hate G4. G4 is about as entertaining as watching two anorexic models compare rib cages. I miss TechTV. TechTV was the bomb. Leo, Patrick, Martin, Kevin, John, all geniuses and all smart enough to tell G4 to take a hike when it bought out the network. The only remnants of that long forgetten and great network, Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb, soldier on reviewing video games, albeit in a form that seems neutered. But occasionally some of the old genius shine through and I'm reminded of their past glory...

Hierarchy

We've clearly established the hierarchy of illnesses in this house. Assuming that we have 7, it goes:

7
6
2
me

Guess who feels like the floor of a taxi cab right now? This coupled with my ocular migraines is making eating a bullet seem like an attractive option.

VC Monday

It's Monday again, which brings three more games to the Virtual Console:

From the Nintendo Press Release:

WII-KLY UPDATE: THREE NEW CLASSIC GAMES ADDED TO WII SHOP CHANNEL

Nov. 26, 2007

Let's hope you all survived the long holiday weekend. With all the eating, traveling and family fun, isn't it time to do something just for you? So take a few minutes and do a little shopping from the comfort of your couch, away from the chaos of the malls. This week you can get into a game of hoops, do a little faux gambling or head out to sea with your favorite dolphin friend.

Three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the Wii™ Shop Channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

DOUBLE DRIBBLE™ (NES®, 1-2 players, rated E for Everyone, 500 Wii Points): DOUBLE DRIBBLE, the first 5-on-5, full-court home basketball game, is pure hoops action at its finest. While still a surprisingly accurate basketball game for its time, the frantic action keeps you on your toes as your players run from one end of the court to the other. Choose from a handful of teams and multiple levels of difficulty as you take on the computer alone or challenge a friend and see who has the better skills. Take the ball and sink shots from locations all over the court, or get in your opponent's face and do your best to block the shot. Better yet, drive the lane and rock the rim to see one of the game's trademark slam-dunk cut scenes. He shoots, he scores!

Vegas Stakes™ (Super NES®, 1-4 players, rated E for Everyone – Simulated Gambling, 800 Wii Points): Feel like taking a road trip to Las Vegas? Let your inner high roller go wild as you try your luck at five different games-blackjack, slots, poker, craps and roulette. Start with only $1,000 in your pocket and play your way through five casinos, each with a different theme and varying limits. But no one wants to gamble alone, right? Not a problem, as you'll be able to choose one of four friends to tag along and offer advice when you need it. Further enhancing the experience is the fact that you'll be presented with a slew of interactions with random casino patrons. Best be careful, though-your choices in these situations could either get you closer to the millions of dollars you're after or cost you a pile of that hard-earned cash. Roll the dice, spin the wheel, hit or stand-do whatever it takes to stake your claim in Vegas and beat the house!

Ecco Jr.™ (Sega Genesis, 1 player, rated E for Everyone, 800 Wii Points): The aquatic adventures of Ecco come to life for a younger generation of gamers. Perfect for kids, Ecco Jr. finds our young hero heading out to sea with a variety of tasks he must perform in order to get there. Along with his friends Tara the baby orca and Kitnee the young Atlantic dolphin, Ecco Jr. will interact with sea lions, sea horses and other aquatic life as he makes his journey to the Big Blue. Introduce your kids to the classic series of Ecco the Dolphin titles by downloading Ecco Jr. today.

For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com.

Over the river, and through the woods

We survived our trip to the Land of the Golden Mullet. The hotel sucked. I've stayed in some pretty lousy hotels in my day, but the Super 8 located in Poplar Bluff, Missouri ranks right up there with the worst. Maybe I'll send their corporate office a nice little letter about how bad our ordeal was.

We had to cut the trip short by a day, 2 was running a 102.1 temp and we wanted to get him home. Of course by the time we got him home he was a lot better. But not before he screamed like a banshee from Cool Springs, TN all the way home. That was a fun hour of driving in the dark. I really feel bad for 7 since she wanted to ride in back with her brother on the way home. My poor sweet pea.

And 6 is sending nasty-grams to Arby's and Hardee's about their lack of changing tables in the restrooms of their establishments in Sikeston, MO and Paducah, KY.

We all miss Freddie

Want to make HH7's day?

'Nuff said

The Straw

You know those days.

The days where the cooing and babbling coming from the other room has started before Al Roker has dragged his gastric bypassed ass up to report the weather.

The days where everything you touch in the kitchen turns into a likeness of the charred remains of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru after Luke returns home from the sandcrawler.

The days when the vacuum cleaner belches smoke and grinds to a halt akin to the sound of a freight train coming to a stop.

Yeah, that's my everyday.

The hardest and most enlightening moment in the life of any stay-at-home dad is the realization that everything that can go against you does on a daily basis. The dryer is broke, the cat's puking all over the carpet, the Mormons want to come in to have a talk, the baby is cutting eleventy billion teeth all at once... somehow the cosmos just seems totally against you.

But as it piles up, your armor builds up, and as that armor builds up you realize that you can do this. You can handle the tantrums, the incessant telemarketer calls, the daytime programming suited only for those in moo-moos eating bon-bons in the trailer park. You can do anything, you are Super Dad!

But then your better half comes home. She hugs you. She kisses you. She snuggles with the boy. And then her happiness at being home is usurped by the tale of how her day was. Often times it is the same story with only the minute details differing.

"Boring day."
"Didn't do much."
"Swamped."
"Where do you hide the rum?"

And while you hear these words so much that you expect them or some variation of them the moment she walks through the door, recently these words have been replaced by tears.

Things are remarkably different for SAHDs and the women who support them. HH6 is starting to see the flip side of having her husband stay home with the little poo maker. She's increasingly having to face the ridicule and having to deal with the perceived notion that her husband is living the sweet life staying home playing video games all day while she busts her ass making a living for her family. And more incredibly, this flack comes from fellow women more often than anyone else.

I can and have dealt with this before, most famously courtesy of General Genius, but for 6 this is a new thing. For her part she has handled it remarkably well, stood her ground, and not only defended her husband, but she has defended her decision for me to stay home an take care of 2. But some days it's just too much for her to handle.

Some days the snide comments and doubt cast on her by outsiders gets to be to much. But, it is on those days that I remind her that this is our decision not theirs. This is our life. This is what we want for our children. This is what makes us, us. And more than anything else, this is what makes us happy.

And then I offer to start shooting out people's kneecaps and that usually cheers her up. Or I get punched in the arm. No, I just get punched in the arm. And I get the look. Guys you know that look.

And I've come to realize that no matter how much ridicule we SAHDs endure at the park, the grocery store, or the doctors office we are enveloped by the unique situation that our spouses have to face similar ridicule out in the rest of the world. Luckily, attitudes are changing and many are accepting of this oft thought backwards arrangement. But for every 99 people who are for it, there will always be one that's against it. And it's that one that's just enough to break the camel's back. Luckily that particular straw is being dealt with.

But not every situation like this is going to present a happy solution to itself. There are going to be times when we along with our spouses will have to endure the tidal wave of criticisms with no easy outcome. It is in these situation when we need to strip off some of that armor we've developed for ourselves and wrap it around the women we love. And no matter how tough your day was there's a chance that her day was made worse by the straw or some other useless piece of field grass. In the end all we SAHDs can do is be supportive, be loving, be encouraging, and enable the fear of a higher power in those that bring sorrow on our wives.

GwB Presents: Mario Party DS

Winning formulas are a fickle thing in video games. What works on one console, doesn't always translate well to another. Be it the limitations of the hardware or problems with the software, many games suffer an uncertain fate when they make the leap over to a different system. Even when that system is made by the same company.

Mario Party DS marks the first foray into the handheld market for the wildly popular party game. Like it's Wii and Gamecube counterparts, Mario Party DS is, well, a party game. You compete against other members of the party in any one of over 70 different mini-games. Game play take place on various game boards, with the player hitting dice to determine what square they land on. Landing on different squares yields different results, be it getting more coins, receiving power-ups, etc., but the ultimate goal of each game is to accumulate more stars and coins than anyone else on the board.

This is the same formula that has existed for every Mario Party title that has ever existed. But, unlike the tired game on the bigger consoles, Mario Party DS might actually be a sleeper hit by virtue of the system it graces. I've said it before, and will undoubtedly say it a million times more, the greatest strength of the DS is it's portability. That portability along with the fact that it is the most prolific game system on the planet makes for soME exciting chances for Mario Party DS.

Take if you will the road trip. With a six hour long jaunt to the Land of the Golden Mullet pending, this title is perfect for the confined space of a 2006 Ford Mustang. With both HH6 and HH7 in the car, a title like this will see plenty of use. It will allow them to play together, and it will allow me some needed sanity and relative silence on the long drive. But that ability to play with someone else is the strength of the title AND THE SYSTEM.

While this is nothing new in the Party line of games, it just seems to work better on the DS. Maybe it's that portability, or the fact that so many other people has DSs, but I think that this title will work out well on the DS for those very reasons. With the many different game modes available there is plenty of opportunity to play against others. Party Mode, Minigame Mode, Puzzle Mode, and Multiplayer all offer play for more than one player with only Story Mode being the sole single player experience. Any of these modes, with the exception of Story Mode, is playable with a friend on another DS via download play.

So, take the plumber and his friends, put them in another game they've all been in countless times before, shrink it all down to DS proportions, and I think this'll be one of those games that's worth of a place in most gamers collections. Especially if you are a multiple DS household like ours is. Mario Party DS is rated "E" for Everyone by the ESRB, supports 1-4 players via download play, and is available November 19th for the Nintendo DS.

Incoming

Two bits of Mario goodness to report on momentarily. Stay tuned.

Coolest. Halftime. Ever.

S Squared, D Squared

Back in the hole again. Nothing new really, but as the holidays approach, my mood is getting darker.

Oh well.

On the mobility front, 2 is fast following in his big sister's footsteps in that rolling seems the most expedient mode of transportation at the moment. He rolls himself from one end of the living room to the other and back again. And anything in his path gets scooped up and gummed. He's also a few days away from crawling, but I don't think he'll be there in time for the great Baby Drag Races to be held in the Land of the Golden Mullet on Thanksgiving.

That's the other thing, more teeth. The two bottoms have been joined by one up top, with another mere days from breaking through. If you asked anyone with kids what the one thing they could do without was, it'd be teething.

Been playing the hell out of Call of Duty 4. Best one they've done yet and such a welcome departure from the rest of their shooters, all of which take place during World War II. Nothing new to report as to other games. Still don't have Guitar Hero III yet, but I have decided to pass on the Wii version after all. Seems the supposed stereo sound is in fact mono only and since there is not capacity to patch games a la XBL on the Wii, the 360 version will win out for me. Mass Effect coming soon, and looking forward to it, but in no real rush to get it. Super Mario Galaxy is supposed to be on shelves now, but people are reporting that some retailers are refusing to sell it until tomorrow. Don't know when I'll get my hands on the plumber either.

And in case you missed it, South Park this past week was great.

VC Monday

WII-KLY UPDATE: THREE NEW CLASSIC GAMES ADDED TO WII SHOP CHANNEL

Nov. 12, 2007

Winter vacation may be weeks away, but there's no need to wait for a fun-filled escape. The latest additions to the Wii™ Shop Channel can take you to places as familiar as a gymnasium or as fantastical as faraway planets. Fans of sports games, space-age shooters and intergalactic action will all find something to love in this week's lively lineup.

Three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the Wii Shop Channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

Volleyball (NES®, 1-2 players, rated E for Everyone, 500 Wii Points): Step onto the court in one of the first volleyball games ever made. Select either the men's or women's competition, choose from one of eight available countries to represent, and prepare for some intensely fun game play. The straightforward controls include all the moves you'll need to effectively direct your six-person team. Take some time mastering them in the training mode, though, because you'll need all the practice you can get when competing against challenging computer opponents. If you feel like some multiplayer action, take on a friend in the two-player mode and see whose skills are more polished. Block, set and spike your way to victory.

AXELAY® (Super NES®, 1 player, rated E for Everyone – Mild Fantasy Violence, 800 Wii Points): Mysterious aliens have invaded the Earth-like planet of Corliss, slowly draining the planet's resources. Take control of the prototype Axelay ship and use its wide range of advanced weaponry to battle enemy forces. Play through multiple stages of action —from other planets to space stations — all on your way to destroying the alien headquarters. You are Corliss' last line of defense, so be careful not to be too distracted by the excellent graphics (including great scrolling effects) and rocking music. Pilot the Axelay using Konami's famously tight play control and experience what many consider to be a classic of the shooter genre.

BLUE'S JOURNEY (NEOGEO, 1-2 players, rated E for Everyone – Comic Mischief, 900 Wii Points): The planet of Raguy has been invaded by the Daruma tribe, changing it from a beautiful and peaceful place into one filled with pollution. Released in 1991, this horizontally scrolling action game tells the story of an insectarian named Blue and his quest to save the planet and keep its inhabitants from being turned into slaves. Use Blue's main weapon, a leaf, to flip enemies onto their heads and then throw them at other members of the Daruma tribe, defeating anyone in your way. Additional weapons, such as bombs and boomerangs, are also available, or you can collect flowers to purchase other special items like honey or swim fins. Blue also has the special ability to change his size at will — if he's too big to fit in a particular area, then shrink him. The bright, colorful graphics, combined with lots of hidden items to find, ensure an enjoyable experience with plenty of replay value. Help Blue muster all his strength and eliminate the Daruma tribe.

For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com.

Happy Veterans Day

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

3071

Whereas it has long been our customs to commemorate November 11, the anniversary of the ending of World War I, by paying tribute to the heroes of that tragic struggle and by rededicating ourselves to the cause of peace; and Whereas in the intervening years, the United States has been involved in two other great military conflicts, which have added millions of veterans living and dead to the honor rolls of this Nation; and

Whereas the Congress passed a concurrent resolution on June 4, 1926 (44 Stat. 1982), calling for the observance of November 11 with appropriate ceremonies, and later provided in an act approved May 13, 1938 (52 Stat. 351) , that the eleventh of November should be a legal holiday and should be known as Armistice Day; and

Whereas, in order to expand the significance of that commemoration and in order that a grateful Nation might pay appropriate homage to the veterans of all its wars who have contributed so much to the preservation of this Nation, the Congress, by an act approved June 1, 1954 (68 Stat. 168), changed the name of the holiday to Veterans Day:

Now, Therefore, I, Dwight D. Eisenhower, President of the United States of America , do hereby call upon all of our citizens to observe Thursday, November 11, 1954 , as Veterans Day. On that day let us solemnly remember the sacrifices of all those who fought so valiantly, on the seas, in the air, and on foreign shores, to preserve our heritage of freedom, and let us reconsecrate ourselves to the task of promoting an enduring peace so that their efforts shall not have been in vain.

I also direct the appropriate officials of the Government to arrange for the display of the flag of the United States on all public buildings on Veterans Day.

In order to insure proper and widespread observance of this anniversary, all veterans, all veterans' organizations, and the entire citizenry will wish to join hands in the common purpose.

Toward this end, I am designating the Administrator of Veterans' Affairs as Chairman of a Veterans Day National Committee, which shall include such other persons as the Chairman may select, and which will coordinate at the national level necessary planning for the observance. I am also requesting the heads of all departments and agencies of the Executive branch of the Government to assist the National Committee in every way possible.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and cause the Seal of the United States of America to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington this eighth day of October in the Year of our Lord nineteen hundred and fifty-four, and of the Independence of the United States of America the one hundred and seventy-ninth.

DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER

Today is a day to remember all of those who so gallantly gave themselves to preserving and protecting all that we hold so dear. Thank those you meet and those you know who've served honorably in times of war and in times of peace.

Happy Veterans Day Dad.

Super Mario Galaxy TV Spot

Already in the hands of the Japanese. We Notre Americanos have four long, excruciating days to wait.

The Four Types of Wii Player

From the ever delightful Sheldon comic:


Most days I fall into category three.

Getting High With Buzz

So, take an ex-moonwalking astronaut known by a name given to him during his binge drinking days, an iconic Italian plumber, and add in some micro-gravity for fun and watch the marketing genius.

LAS VEGAS - NOVEMBER 03: Mario, Nintendo's iconic video game character, floats with famous astronaut Dr. Buzz Aldrin in zero-gravity atmosphere to train for his upcoming game set in space, Super Mario Galaxy for Wii on November 03, 2007 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The game is available in stores Monday, Nov. 12. (Photo by Denise Truscello/WireImage)

For the record and to clarify, there's no such thing as zero-gravity, it's micro-gravity. Sorry, a little of the geek coming out there. Oh, and I so want the patch on Buzz's flight suit.

OMG! SM3!

The single best Mario title ever hits the Virtual Console today. From the Nintendo press release:

Eagerly awaiting the arrival of Super Mario Galaxy™ next week? Can't get Mario™ out of your head? You and everybody else! To whet your appetite for all things Mario, Nintendo is offering a special treat on the Virtual Console™ this week. It's not just any game, it's Super Mario Bros. 3™ – considered by many to be the greatest video game of all time (for at least one more week, anyway). It's a must-have title on a week that also features the first Virtual Console import title for Sega Genesis and a fun multiplayer golf game for TurboGrafx16.

Today Nintendo adds three new classic games to the popular Wii™ video game system's Wii Shop Channel. The games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased via the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES®, 1-2 players, Rated E for Everyone, 500 Wii Points): Remember when no one had ever heard of a Tanooki Suit or knew that Bowser™ had a clan of Koopalings? The game that made these things common knowledge is also considered by many to be one of the best ever made. Bowser and the Koopalings are causing chaos yet again, but this time they're going beyond the Mushroom Kingdom into the seven worlds that neighbor it. Now Mario and Luigi™ must battle new enemies, returning favorites and a new Koopaling in each unique and distinctive world on their way to ultimately taking on Bowser himself. Luckily for the brothers, they have more power-ups available than ever before. Fly above the action using the Super Leaf, swim faster by donning the Frog Suit or defeat enemies using the Hammer Bros. Suit. Use the brand-new overworld map to take the chance to play a minigame in hopes of gaining extra lives or to find a Toad's House where you can pick up additional items. All this (and more) combines into one of gaming's most well-known and beloved titles—are you ready to experience gaming bliss?

Alien Soldier™ (Sega Genesis, 1 player, Rated E10+ for Everyone 10 and Older –Fantasy Violence, 900 Wii Points): As Epsilon-Eagle, you are an alien soldier who has been genetically engineered to produce maximum intelligence and strength. You were once a member of the criminal organization Scarlet, but when you decided to break from the group, you were forced into a showdown with Scarlet's new leader Xi-Tiger, who kills a hostage in his attempt to destroy you. Now it's up to you to take revenge against the bad guys in this side-scrolling action game! Choose from six different weapons and battle the bosses of Scarlet until you reach the final confrontation with the ultimate secret weapon!

Power Golf (TurboGrafx16, 1-3 players, Rated E for Everyone, 600 Wii Points): Power Golf sports a perfect combination of simple-yet-realistic controls and beautiful graphics. Swing away on 18 lush holes in one of three different game modes: the single-player STROKE PLAY mode and the multiplayer MATCH PLAY and COMPETITION modes. Enter tournaments as one of three different characters—beginner, intermediate and advanced. Wind strength and the slope of the green add extra challenges to each hole. Compete against other players in the standard NORMAL MATCH or ante up one of your clubs in the unique CLUB MATCH. Up to three players can play in COMPETITION mode, and a handicap feature is included to help novice players pull off breathtaking shots just like their advanced rivals.

The list of downloadable games is updated weekly on Nintendo's Online Press Room. For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com.

The Littlest Charger

The story should be well known by now, but there's a brief synopsis accompanying the picture at Flickr. UAH dropped both games of the home opener, falling to Minnesota State- Mankato 7-0 Friday night, and 4-2 Saturday night. While embarrassing, it's kind of to be expected. Mankato has a good team this year, and we're rife with rookies. (And I don't care how hot you think you are MacNicol, you've made a whopping 13 appearances in net in your collegiate career, that doesn't make you the veteran just because our other two goalies are freshman.)

CHA opponent, and perennial rival Bemidji State is up next weekend here at home. Keep you fingers crossed.

I despise MySpace, but this combines two of my favorite things ever into one great spoof.