Eight, Ate, oh 8

Believe it or not, I've been blogging for quite a while now. Since before the last time nations gathered to be pompous nitwits and pit children against each other in a process that in no way resemble the ancient games. The original Olympic games were all about soldiering skills. Running, swimming, fighting, weaponry, and equestrian skills. What's more, participants in those ancient games competed in all the events, not just a couple of them. Today's Olympians by contrast are little more than one hit wonders. Take Michael Phelps out of the water, and there's little to nothing more that he could do.

And there's also the nudity that is lacking in today's games. Ancient contestants did it all au natural, with the only concession allowed being something to keep their bait and tackle in check. And keep in mind, the original Olympic games were a complete and total sausage fest, women weren't allowed to roll around naked together. No, that was reserved solely for the fellas. While nudity would certainly boost ratings for today's games, there are some things you just don't want to see naked. Greco-Roman wrestling. Fencing. Pommel horse. Any track and field event. But close your eyes for just a moment and imagine... the high dive.

At least the nudity would solve the problem of kids ruining their lives and bodies so early since they couldn't compete.