How to spend a Saturday with your daughter.

Things just ain't the same anymore...

Caught this the other night, and damn near wet myself.

The good die young...

First I was floored by the sudden passing of Tim Russert. I was always a fan of Meet The Press, and Tim was incredible. But now I wake to the news that George Carlin has passed as well at 71 years of age. George was always one of my favorites. He spoke from the hip, stuck to his guns, and didn't compromise his beliefs and views.

"Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money."

I'll miss him. This image from Indexed says it best.

GwB Presents: Emergency Heroes for the Nintendo Wii

GwB Presents: Emergency Heroes for the Nintendo Wii

Once again, it's been a while since I was given the opportunity to heap upon you the odd collection of verbs, nouns, and adjectives that make up my little critiques. In all fairness, now is that time of year where next to nothing gets released in comparison to the holiday gaming season. The summer months are largely a dry spell for gamers, and as such, we take what we can get. The odd little platformer, RPG, fighting game, anything that comes along really, to satisfy our ADD like requirement for more and more pixelated entertainment, all the while ignoring the outside world and the big, orange ball in the sky that is trying to turn our pasty, white skin a painful shade of crimson.

From the press release:

SAN FRANCISCO – June 12, 2008 – Today Ubisoft announced that Emergency Heroes has shipped to retailers nationwide and is available exclusively for the Wii(TM) home video game system from Nintendo. Developed by Ubisoft Reflections and Ubisoft Barcelona, Emergency Heroes is an open-world rescue driving game where young rescuers can jump into 48 different variations of next-generation rescue vehicles as a police officer, firefighter or EMT and navigate through the sprawling streets of San Alto, keeping citizens safe along the way. Emergency Heroes is rated "E-10+” and has an MSRP of $39.99.

Key Features:

• Drive the next generation of rescue vehicles. Pilot and command numerous high-tech rescue vehicles designed specifically for ultra-high-risk, high-speed navigation. Choose between police, fire and EMT vehicles.

• Explore and protect the entire city. As an emergency hero, your mission is to protect the peaceful city of San Alto. Drive through stunning free-roaming open environments, rescuing the city from imminent danger at every turn.

• Fun for the whole family. Making full use of the Wii Remote(TM), everyone in the family can enjoy being an emergency hero.

• Fast-action gameplay. Take advantage of Hero Mode and play like you mean it – the faster you drive, the faster you rise and gain access to powers of invincibility.

About Ubisoft
Ubisoft is a leading producer, publisher and distributor of interactive entertainment products worldwide and has grown considerably through a strong and diversified line-up of products and partnerships. Ubisoft has offices in 25 countries and sales in 55 countries around the globe. It is committed to delivering high-quality, cutting-edge video game titles to consumers. Ubisoft generated sales of 928 million euros for the 2007–08 fiscal year. To learn more, please visit
www.ubisoftgroup.com.

Emergency Heroes is one of those titles that just fill that void in our gaming lives. It isn't great by any means, the story and the graphics are nothing special, but it steps up in a time when the horizon is devoid of anything. This is one of those titles that parents will play once, and then never touch again, but your young boy will constantly want to play it. My only real problem with the title is in it's controls, it relies on the same wonky controls that Nintendo seems to favor in it's racing titles. (I'm not a fan of the floating controller.)

Emergency Heroes is available everywhere now and is rated E10+ by the ESRB.

I am seriously out of practice with these critiques. If only they weren't so few and far between...

How to be the best dad in the galaxy

How To Be The Best Dad In The Galaxy

It's that day again.

Father's Day. The one day a year where kids are supposed to thank their dads for being, well, dad. Lucky fathers are with their children today. Unlucky ones aren't.

Whether thanks to circumstances beyond their control, combat operations in some far off crap hole, or due to a ruling of the out of touch courts system, there are far too many dads today who won't be with their children. It is to them that I wish as happy a Father's Day as is possible given the circumstances.

No matter what keeps you from your kids, there is always one thing that can be counted on; you love them, and they love you. And in the end, that's all that matters.

Happy Father's Day.

Week one

Time is truly fleeting as this first week has flown by. Granted, one day was lost to travel, and four others were shared with my niece, but I honestly have no time where the time has gone.

Saw Kung Fu Panda. Not that great. Oh sure, your kids will no doubt like it, but for those of us who, thanks to Pixar, have come to expect more from computer animated films, this one just isn't all there. The animation seems very flat, especially the characters eyes, and at times uninspired.

And one of the things that bugged me most is how they touted this having this great cast (Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogan, David Cross, Jackie Chan, and Dustin Hoffman), and you never really get a chance to hear from the other actors aside from Black and Hoffman. Aside from one scene with Jolie in it, all the other actors make little more than cameos in the film.

It strikes me that this is one of those films that has to do well just to justify the paychecks they had to shell out to get these stars to lend their voices for a couple of lines worth of work. Dreamworks Animation seems to follow an idea that if they book big name stars, people will come, whereas Pixar focuses on quality story and animation.

And Dreamworks wonders why Pixar is crushing them.

It is worth noting that I am not a fan of Jack Black. Never have been. All of his films, to me, seem to serve the same purpose, proving how great he thinks he is. Kung Fu Panda is no exception.

I ain't raising no accountant

Guide to Pirate Parenting certainly fills the much needed gap in parenting books that exists thanks to the lack of tomes related to the raising of a buccaneer. I look forward to laying my hooks on a copy of this one soon.

Aerial highlights

"It is a $2000 fine to tamper with a smoke detector in the lavatory, and really, let's face it folks, if you had an extra $2000, you would've flown Delta."- Southwest flight attendant.

"Freebird!"- Me, after the same flight attendant serenaded the plane with "Over the Rainbow."

Happiness is...

...having both of my kids asleep under the same roof.

Bammy bound

Homeward bound with my little girl at my side.



As an extra special treat, here's the first few extra lyrics that go along with that great song.

... on my 4x4.
... like my mother.
... like Sweet Home Alabama.
... like incest.

... off key.
... 'cause she's heavy.
... puff, puff, pass.
... 'cause he's a real man.

Sac-o-tomatoes

Sitting in Sac-town International Airport, the only airport in this little venture with free wi-fi, but precious few (as in only two) places to plug in your laptop to recharge. Stuck here solo for the next three hours, then Mac will be with me for our 1720 flight out of here. Been up since 0100 central time thanks to the lousy damn hotel I booked (damn you internet!), and sleeping on the plane has been a no-go. First leg I was pinned in by a man 75-100 heavier than me, and the second leg I was stuck on the window with no escape to the loo thanks to the two sleeping fools beside me.

I would've occupied a bulkhead for this last leg since I can play the disabled card, but Southwest flight 708 from Midway to Sacramento was apparently the octogenarian only flight and seven wheel chair riding ladies boarded before me.

I need sleep, but there is none coming anytime soon.

Cali bound

Without any delays I should be on the way to get mini-girly me. First a quick change in Chicago and then the West Coast.

Initiate stage one

About to be out the door shortly, Nashville bound. Plan is to get to the hotel, grab a bite to eat, and rack out as I have to be up all too early in the morning. Flight's at 0600, and of course the ticket counter doesn't open until 0500, so here's hoping the kiosk's are up and running. The only good news thus far is that the parking area opens at 0330, if being up well before BOB (big orange ball) is a good thing.

May update once I'm in Sacramento as I will have a little time to kill before the return flight tomorrow evening. Somehow I managed to book a hotel sans internet. How great is that?