A legitimate question, and an easy answer... not here.
Honestly, do I need to explain it? Take a look, I'll wait. Yeah, things suck. Really, really suck. It's gotten really, really bad. I just can't function anymore. It's all I can do most days just to make it out of bed. And I've got Butters to deal with.
The sad fact is that no matter how I try to kid myself I can't believe that this is getting any easier. Being away from my first born like this is a constant knife in the heart. The pain never subsides, and every day the blade twists a little more.
And joyous news only makes it worse.
Come October you can expect me to start getting fatter and more gray. We're having another kid. Abandon all hope ye who read these words.
Am I excited? Absolutely, how could I not be? But Mac won't be here. She'll be 2,311 miles away, and that is just another blade twisting in my chest. Can't say how I'll handle it when the day comes, probably not at all well, but I'll get through it. Because as much as each day is a struggle, with the help of rotormommy, Butters, and a few of you, I get by. And sometimes all it takes is getting by.
I'll be back more now, for what it's worth.
20090421
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!
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7 comments:
I have no wise words for you - I cannot imagine what it must be like to be away from your child, it must be incredibly hard.
But I do want to offer my congratulations on your wife's pregnancy! Maybe your daughter will come and visit when the baby arrives?
I wish I had a magic wand to make it all just the way you want things to be.
Just know that there's someone down in Orlando that is 100% in your corner...and has a pool.
You know, just in case you need a swim or something.
xoxoxo to all of you
Hey, Congratulations!
Not on being separated from Mac, because that would be an insane thing to congratulate you for, and I'm pretty sure you had nothing to do with that anyway, so if I was going to congratulate someone for that I guess it would be your ex but holy mother of god on a skateboard I don't think I'll be congratulating her for anything.
No, congratulations on procreating again.
Echoing the others. I wish I had the patented fantastic words that would make things better, or the ideal way to have your sweet girl close. Wish it were...
Congratulations on the pregnancy. I hope things are going well as that beautiful baby does the prep work!
Not that by me saying that I'm sorry that you and your beautiful girl can't be together is going to make it better but I *am* really sorry. I shouldn't be such a whiny bitch and complain about my kids driving me crazy all day long.
Congratulations on the new addition! Here's hoping that RotorMommy is feeling good and taking it easy on the ice. ;-)
I too have nothing that make you feel better except sorry and congrats.
You don't deserve this Will.
Jason and I were talking this morning and you came up in the conversation and he said, "I didn't really know him - but we had a few classes together and he was a really nice guy."
But it was more than that. You were (and still are!) kind, and caring, and compassionate - and loving, and all of those things that it takes to be a phenom. dad. The crap part is that most of the time you don't have to posess any of those characteristics if you have a vagina - most courts think that alone makes you a great parent.
Simply untrue. You don't deserve this. Your sweet daughter doesn't deserve this. And I am so sorry that you both drew the short end of the stick on this one.
I think about you guys a lot - especially when I'm missing *my* daughter.
I can't believe there's another one on the way... My goodness - 2.5 kids!
loveya - christall
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